On Valentine’s Day 2023 I began a personal project. I was nervous (read: terrified) to follow my heart in this way. In fact, I’d put it on the back burner for nearly two years. But when you survive cancer, scary things (like photography projects) feel less scary. And when you survive cancer, the things you DO and DO NOT want become crystal clear.

I wanted to offer a photoshoot that was different: no professional hair/makeup, no new clothes, no photoshop, all black and white. I wanted to call it AS I AM because 2 years prior I had a return client reach out and request to be photographed as those 3 words. But I was afraid because I’d built a career on fancy, highly stylized photography… and I didn’t want to confuse my audience or devalue my existing work.

BUT SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED. Something else entirely.

See, when I started my AS I AM Project, I didn’t have much of a plan. “Trust the process,” I repeated to my type A self. I took one step at a time and let it UNFOLD. People showed up for this. My clients inspired me in ways I never thought possible. These sessions healed (and continue to heal) some of the deepest, darkest corners of my heart. I let my heart lead. I listened to my body.

Turns out, my journey to offering to hold space for people to exist AS THEY ARE required me to be able to exist AS I AM, first. And when breast cancer rocked my world in the summer of 2022, disfigured my body, and destroyed my pride, I realized so much of what I believed about life, self love, body image, etc. Going flat after breast cancer forced me to pull one block out of the bottom of the Jenga of my core beliefs (clumsily, as I do) and make all the rest collapse.

Long story short: I learned that true love is ACCEPTANCE.

Love does not demand more.

Love says, “I see you,

and you in this moment are worthy

JUST AS YOU ARE.”

I believe that more every day. And as I move through this season I wake up with more hope each morning. For the first couple months I (surprisingly) did not have many words to write about my AS I AM Project. SO many of you have engaged with it, come up to me at coffee shops and said you love it - and I thank you for that. At first, the portraits WERE the words. They were the only expression I had and they continue to hold such a beautiful place in that medium. But I have some words now and you know, many of them are not even mine. They are the words of the beautiful souls who trust me to photograph them for my project. Thanks to them, I am healing. I am believing. I am hoping. I am loving.

Thank you to the beautiful humans who have met me in my studio and have been open to loving themselves exactly as they are. I know now my AS I AM project will continue as long as I am breathing. I am so grateful for that.

I will share some of their words and portraits with you now. Wow, the gratitude takes my breath away.

More words will come soon, but til then I’d love to share a few of my favorite moments from the beginning of my AS I AM raw portrait project. If you’d like to take part, reach out here.

If highly stylized/retouched shoots are like a fancy sushi roll, then raw portraits are like sashimi (not fish you forgot to cook). Raw, intentional, and profoundly valuable.

SELF PORTRAITS

Here’s the other piece of this new adventure: Photographing others’ raw portrait sessions inspired ME to show up in self portraits in a real, authentic way. My clients couldn’t reschedule because they had a bad hair/acne/tummy bloat day, so why would I?

My self portrait practice in those first few months of my raw portrait project were deeply transformative.

If you are a creative / visual artist in any medium, I encourage you to start a self-portrait practice. It’s like journaling (free of judgment, rules, or expectations), but using a medium different from written words. If it’s your craft it will pour from your heart and show you incredible things about yourself. Here are a few steps to get you started:

CONSUME TO CREATE: what fills you up and inspires you? Take it in. (For me, it’s movies.) Whatever elements resonate with you, take those and run with them!
CREATE TIME TO CREATE: my mentor Sue Bryce taught me how vital it is to prioritize time for CREATION. Put it on your calendar and stick to it! Remember, you have time for what you have time for.
HAVE FUN AND BREAK RULES! If you’re someone who has perfectionistic tendencies or struggles with creating with no limitations, think of a “rule” or a way you’ve “always done it” and then break the rule or do it wrong ON PURPOSE. This will help you break your brain out of tunnel vision and into the joy of creation. Ever watched a 3 year old color a picture? They pick up whatever color they want and do whatever they want. Tap into your inner child and have fun.

My AS I AM raw portrait sessions have healed deep, dark parts of my heart and have connected me more than ever to my creative expression. My clients feel it too, and I love the way we connect authentically during these sessions.

CLIENTS, reach out here.

PHOTOGRAPHERS, reach out here.

And don’t forget to have fun, ok?

Sincerely,
Mitzi